Change, Water and Soil

Like it or not we are creatures of habit. And some of our habits are lousy ones. I first heard this saying when I attended Adult Children of Alcoholics meetings many years ago.

“Until the pain of remaining the same becomes too great,                            there will be no change.”

Truly believed that when my mother died the problems I grew up with stopped. AcoA  (Adult Children of Alcoholics) helped me recognize the problems were ingrained in me during my upbringing.  We can choose change. We can choose to move out of our habits. We will need help to do that. There might even be relapses. But we need to continue to choose to change. Even after I have lived forty-three years without my mother, I still continue to need to choose change. I cannot tell all the ways God has helped me and shown me paths o choose and ways to change through the years.

I grew up in an alcoholic family. When I was at home I decided when I got out of there I would do things differently with my children in my family. I did not want to pass on to my children and husband the co-dependent family of origin behaviors that I experienced.  Fairly certain I did not succeed in shielding the children completely, but I did the best I could with what I learned.

I chose to change because the pain was a strong motivator. I chose a different path.

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When I was first diagnosed with fibromyalgia (a chronic pain condition) I read a book with this quote. I do not remember author or title, but it is powerful truth:

“The crap and the tears can be transformed                                                         into water and soil for the soul.”

Chronic pain is crappy. There is just no way around that fact. It colors your day-to-day existence, usually like yucky mud. Hard to rise above the pain and keep your wits about you. Sometimes I do not even realize I am struggling with pain until I snap at my husband. There is very little I can do to control pain, but I am learning to take the crap from it and compost it for soil and use the tears as water to grow good things for the soul.

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That is part of how this blog was birthed. We can grow things from this soil. Things that may nourish and help others. Things that can bring encouragement and cheer.  Insights about the human condition. Having cried often, I have a much greater sensitivity to others who suffer from chronic conditions. I can relate in ways I never would have imagined from this lousy situation. Fibromyalgia is not progressive and will not kill me, but it can truly make me miserable and sometimes grinds me down to a powder instead of tissues and bones.

Sayings can help us. I post the ones I need for encouragement. Eventually I memorize  the best ones. I am thankful for others who have gone before me and written their experience. Share your life with others and you cannot help but grow!