In June of 1990 I wrote journal notes about the concept of relinquishment to God. “Lord, You have been working a mighty deed within me. This morning, in brokenness, I asked You as Jacob did, “What do You require of me?”
“I feel Your response has been that I speak to You directly again. When did I stop? I don’t know, but here I am making an effort on this Mac keyboard. I dedicate this machine nad my hands unto You, Lord. I give myself to You, a living sacrifice. Use me Lord. Here me I pray. Have Your own way within me.
“I relinquish the idol of control to You. Help me know before I fall into the control trap. Show me how to avoid the pitfalls of manipulation and deceit. The anguish in my soul demands that this be done. YOU control Lord. You and You alone. I want to stop doing this evil within my family, this house, the marriage … all areas of my being. Have Your own way, Lord.
“Remove the blinders from my eyes, Jesus. Please help me to see Your plan, Your will, and Your goals fro me. Set my feet upon the path of righteousness that I might honor You and obtain the intimacy that keeps me so close that I hear Your heartbeat. I hold Your hand and await Your leadership. I will not try to move until I know where and how You want me to move. Yielded I am.”
Relinquish: to give up or abandon, to stop doing, let go, surrender. We will always find new things we need to relinquish to our God and Father. We seem to be infected with this need to control and grasp ever since the fall in the garden. Thankfully, He never turns us away when we honestly turn to Him for help. Even if the turning is again and again.
But whenever you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you. “When you are praying, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do; for they think that they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. Matthew 6:6-8 (NRSV)
Did I ever tell you about Rev. Bob, (not my husband, an Episcopal priest). He was married to a psychologist. One Sunday he preached saying “Control is an illusion.” I argued with him all the way home. It took me years to realize he was absolutely correct!
I have found that if I ask for God’s help it comes. If I seek new ways of staying free from control issues, the Holy Spirit is endlessly creative in showing me and teaching me new ways to stay free. It really is true that if we seek, we will find, ask and it shall be given, knock and it shall be opened as long as we are seeking to follow God in righteousness and holiness and using what we are given for HIs glory and to His honor and praise.